The Slants

I’m not sure how many of the ‘music critic’ ilk actually play music. I’ll refrain from judging, with the exception of this small, hopefully non-judgmental observation: damn few.

Musicians are a peculiar lot: they are apt to be overly analytical in the way they listen to music. One study – one I certainly can’t substantiate, just one of those things ‘they’ say – claims that while the casual listener’s brain activity while hearing music tends toward the right brain, the hemisphere purported to house creative and emotional functions, a musician’s activity tends toward the left, they analytical side. This, I suspect, may be academic bullshit, but in the spirit of getting more musicians into the reviewing, I am inviting the esteemed Eli (who requests his last name not be given), an audio engineer and musician of note in the East Bay scene, to review the album with me. We’ll hear ad hoc comments from Eli as he cooks dinner tonight. I’ll fill in between the lines.

Upon asking for first Impressions:

Eli: “Where’s this band from? Are they from Japan? I guess my first impression is that they sound like Duran Duran. Do we have to give good reviews?” (Note: Eli is cooking dinner, for one thing, and not terribly interested in following SSv protocol, as he has no notion of it, and is too busy cooking dinner to take an interest.)

Shumit: (To Eli) “Fuck no, you don’t have to give a good review. Just say what you think.”

Personally, I think he’s right. It’s pretty retro-electronica. If I found this on cassette, there is nothing that would lead me to believe that it wasn’t a bonafide Casio-driven ’80s outfit.

Eli (over pressure-cooked black-eyed peas) “I mean I don’t mind sounding a band sounding like another band, as long as there is something notable about it – something that sets it apart. This just sounds like they’re riding the ’80s trend. Bands like MIA and Deerhoof with say ‘sure the eighties, but check this out’ and spit out some regurgitated crazy mix-up of all the elements they just digested, but this … (stirs the vegetables) just sounds the same, really.”

Now, Eli is an audio engineer, and makes his living within the subculture. While he carries on with dinner, He is noting a phenomenon within it, basically that a lot of audio engineers also write reviews for products, and they can’t really slam them, as many of these products pay for advertising in the magazines they write for. No biting the hand that feeds.

I’m feeling a similar pressure as an Asian musician, albeit not of the slanted variety. I want to say nice things, an impulse towards solidarity to the few of us who rotate through the musical circuit, and I may be pre-burning some bridges by being critical of my very specialized sub-group. Fuck it though, I gotta be honest.

First off, Eli was right when he noted “…there really isn’t anything timeless about the album.” There isn’t. It’s nothing I haven’t heard before, and the fact that I could’ve said the same thing in 1987 does not bode well. Secondly, let’s talk about the Asian aspect, something I’m sure the non-Asian contingent will be reluctant to touch, not without reason.

To say “to each their own” is a platitude, to be certain, but one that promotes a certain tolerance of the proclivities of others; it allows Americans to gloss over other culture’s mores, to at least acknowledge and tolerate behaviors they find unfathomable, like worshipping cattle or consuming haggis. The dark side of this could be embodied as “ …and when find your own, go ahead and stay there.” People self-segregate, mostly along cultural lines. Fact of life. The only reason white people are marked more often as racist is because they have the most money. Well, that and the whole Hitler thing.

I mention this because Eli can’t call out something that I can. Being a card-carrying member of the Asian Diaspora, I need to note that there is nothing particularly Asian about The Slants; it is ’80s electronica, straight-up, with perhaps a touch of “me,me,me” Republican-Punk, and it’s worrisome that all the press that they get and highlight on their webpage is all about being Asian. If this is the case, if the ethnic slant (pun intended) is such an integral aspect of the band, why not address that in the music? There are hints of it, sure – they named one of their songs after Haruki Marukami, but it’s a false association – there is nothing about the composition that echoes the dream-like of his novels, although I suspect they may have taken the lyrics from him, if only to rationalize the title.

It’s as if they conceived their marketing ploy before they conceived their songs. Hell it’s not “As if”; they freely admit it took two years of, to quote their own liner notes “ …getting hate mail when posting a call for Asian musicians” while trying to come up with a line-up for the band. Two years? Two years spent getting a specific marketing niche locked down rather than writing actual music seems like a waste, and I distrust anyone more interested in their public image than their craft. I’m quite sure I’ll get a load of flak from the Asian contingent, decrying foul on my own people – a loose definition of ‘Asian’ to be sure – but the fact is, 1 of 3 in the world are of the continent, while far fewer are actual practicing musicians. Putting ethnicity in the forefront, while not acknowledging any cultural tradition in the actual music, gives a clear message:

“We can play monetarily successful pop music just as well as any other musicians in a predominately white industry.”

Sure. Yes. They can. They’ll be more successful than I in making a media splash, garnering more cheese in the short run (the number of corporate endorsements on their MySpace page is testament to this) but given the quality of much mainstream music – and that is what The Slants are playing – are they sure they’re aiming for a noble goal? I doubt it.

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